


A Darktown Encounter

by theoddling



Series: The Moments In Between (Dragon Age Origins) [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: almost definitely a little OOC Justice, possibly OOC Anders, pure self-indulgence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 13:58:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11761371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoddling/pseuds/theoddling
Summary: I refuse to believe that my incredibly nosy, "I'm going to fix everyone's lives" Ellwynn Cousland would be willing to just let her friends disappear after the events of Dragon Age: Awakening. So here's what I worked up about what happened when she left Ferelden to track down her sassy blonde feather mage.





	A Darktown Encounter

When the tall, grey-cloaked figure entered his clinic and closed the door, Anders tried not to react any differently than he would to any other. It was late in the day and he was utterly alone but that was not necessarily unusual, and whoever this mysterious man or woman was, they would not be the first who came in disguise to hide their identity, at least he hoped that was their reason. The clatter of many coins falling into his donation box made him stir from his place at the rough desk he’d built. He looked up to see several more gold sovereigns slide from the stranger's hand into the box.

He opened his mouth to ask who this stranger was and why they’d come to him when they could clearly go elsewhere when a familiar voice cut him off.

“Nice place you’ve got here,” Ellwynn Cousland quipped, smirking as she lowered her hood and leaned against a column. “Really, the smell of sewage gives it just the right atmosphere.”

“Commander,” he bowed stiffly to her and placed a hand not quite casually on his staff behind him.

“Relax Anders,” she sighed, holding out a placating hand. “I stopped being Warden-Commander a while ago. Apparently the Order doesn’t like it when you work with intelligent darkspawn to prevent bigger problems or disappear for weeks on secret missions that are really just you checking on old friends or getting away from the Vigil because everyone is boring and stuffy.” She chuckled. “And even if I was still in charge, I wouldn’t be here to force you to come back; I know you had your reasons for going, for coming here. Though to be honest I thought Nathaniel might be one of those reasons and I’d find you two as the picture of domestic bliss.” She flashed him a familiar smirk.

He smiled and sat back down. “So why are you here then?”

Her voice was quiet and as close to sad as he’d ever heard her. “I was worried about you. I was in the area. I wanted to apologize for not being there to back you up when the whole mess with Rolan happened. I wanted to ask you nicely to come back.” she shrugged. “Take your pick.”

He settled into his chair and offered her the one across from him silently. As she sat, he took a moment to really study her. She looked tired. Not the tired of a road-weary traveler or the tired of someone who hadn’t slept well in days; no she was the tired of someone who has gone through so much that there’s simply not much more they can take, tired of life and of living itself. How could only a few months have changed her so much to bring this about, or bring it forward he supposed, when she used to be so vivacious and full of life, so wonderful and good and true.

“What could possibly have brought you into the Free Marches?”

Ellwynn shrugged. “Visiting Nathaniel mostly, since apparently ‘get away from the Grey Wardens’ means ‘hide out and become hermits in the Free Marches,’” she rolled her eyes. “And I wanted to travel, see more of the world, not be sitting still waiting for the next shoe of the many-footed fate to drop.”

He nodded and continued to study her for a long moment. “Are you sure you’re okay? Justice is quiet right now, for the first time in a long while actually, if you want to talk; I know the two of you never saw eye to eye.” His voice was soft as he reached a hesitant hand toward his friend before retreating.

“I don’t have a problem with Justice, I’ve just never been a fan of the ‘sacrifice one to save the many because it’s easier than finding a way to save everyone’ mentality. I did that once, in Redcliffe, and have never stopped regretting it.” A deep sigh shuddered through her and she looked like she was about to break. “Everyone leaves, or vanishes, or dies, and it sucks, that’s all.”

His jaw clenched as he stared at his desk in guilt, but he said nothing.

“I was a child, a naïve, stupid child before I joined the Wardens. Maker I was an idiot, so clueless to the world. I’d never known what it was like to face so much loss, sure people died sometimes but it was of sickness or age, it was safe and normal. I didn’t know what it was like to…to _hurt._ ” Her voice broke as she stressed the last word. “And then Howe attacked and my family was killed and Highever burned as I stared at it and Duncan physically held me to keep me from running back inside despite everything.”

Her jaw clenched and worked around the words before she spoke again. “And that wasn’t even the worst of it, neither was Ostagar somehow; when Alistair and I were off doing our last of the Grey Wardens thing, we met others, made friends, had a group of people that all counted on each other whether we’d  admit it or not, but then we stopped the Blight. The thing that held us together is gone and the whole thing falls apart; everyone returned to their own lives, their own goals and missions. Morrigan just vanished, as I agreed to let her do. Even Alistair got dragged away from me by Grey Warden politics and Jump was ‘requested’ by Queen Anora to help repopulate Fort Drakon’s war hound ranks.” A long silence followed.

“That’s why it was just you and Ser Mhairi when you came to Amaranthine, and why you weren’t overly upset by what happened at the Vigil the night we met. You didn’t know anyone there yet so all you had was the distant grieving over strangers?”

“Something like that. I was angry and annoyed and confused by the new darkspawn elements more than anything else. Everything that happened with the Architect and the Mother wasn’t long, what was it? About a month, maybe a month and a half?”

He nodded in response and she continued. “But we all bonded, became friends. Well, I mean Justice didn’t, by the time we found Kristoff’s body and made it back the attacks were underway, but the rest of us: you, me, Nathaniel, Oghren, Sigrun, even Velanna; it felt nice to have a close group of friends, of people I could trust to have my back again. But that didn’t last either. When I finally tracked Morrigan down again, I pretended it was out of concern for her but it was just as much because I missed my friend, and she left again, vanishing through one of those ancient elven mirrors which she claimed was a portal to a world beyond the Void. I’ll never see her again for real this time.” A few tears rolled down her cheeks and she angrily wiped them away.

“Everyone I care about keeps leaving me and I don’t think I can take it anymore!” She stood angrily and slammed a hand against one of the columns which shook under the force of the hit.

“Bringing my clinic down around our ears won’t help matters,” he chuckled.

She looked down at her split knuckles and the blood oozing down the back of her hand and muttered an apology.

He stood and cupped her hand between his. “So what I’m hearing,” he said as he worked a simple healing spell, “is that you travelled all the way to the Free Marches to the miserable pit that is Darktown, Kirkwall, just because you missed me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh shut up you.” Her face softened and she bit her lip, “There’s still a space for you in the Grey Wardens you know,” she tried to keep her voice light and teasing, “if you do decide the apostate-in-the-sewers act isn’t the life for you. Anyone who says otherwise will have to fight me or eat their words.”

“You and I both know that’s not where I belong anymore,” his eyes were downcast and he dropped her hand like it was made of hot lead, turning away from her slightly. “I have a new cause and a new place.”

She smiled softly. “I know Anders. I wish you would tell me a bit about this cause of yours, maybe I could help. Being the Hero of Ferelden gives me quite a bit of weight to throw around.”

“Maybe in Ferelden, but this is Kirkwall. Besides…I don’t want you to get wrapped up in these things and hurt by them. You don’t deserve that.”

“See it’s lines like that that make me worry about you even more. Maybe I should stick around and keep you out of trouble…”

“Please don’t,” he held his hands out in a placating gesture and she laughed at how much both his action and tone reminded her of her nephew Oren when his mother was about to do something embarrassing. Before she could respond though, there was a knock on the clinic door.

“It seems you have a patient to attend to and I should be on my way,” she impulsively pulled the mage into a tight hug, which he returned earnestly. “I’ll be staying at an inn called the Hanged Man in Lowtown for a few days until my ship leaves for Amaranthine. If you change your mind about letting me in on your plans or coming back to Ferelden, you can find me there.” She smiled at him and raised the hood of her cloak. “If I don’t hear from you: farewell good ser mage. Try not to get yourself killed without me.”

He followed her to the door, his expression guarded. He opened it, yanking hard on the wooden slab that was practically stuck in the frame and admitted the pale, painfully thin woman who waited on the other side. Ellwynn slipped past the pair and vanished into the Darktown gloom. He wondered if she would end up as one more person who could never forgive him for what he was willing to do. The thought pulled his face into a deep frown and he could not shake the feeling for the rest of the day.

~

Less than a week later he sat alone at his desk again, pondering the events in the Chantry that had led to Karl’s death, when he heard the rasp of something being slid under the door. Rising, he moved to the entrance and picked up the heavy, shockingly clean envelope and pulled the door open to spot the messenger. Seeing no one, he shrugged and went back to the desk, using the small knife on his belt to cut the plain red wax seal. Inside were two pages of thick, high quality parchment.

_Anders,_

_By the time you read this, my ship will already have departed for Amaranthine; I’m not surprised you didn’t come to see me to be honest. I may not have known you long but I knew you well enough to know that you’re not one to burden others with what you perceive as your problems. Anyway, after I left your clinic, I got to thinking (I know, I know, never a good thing). You’ll have to improvise the details, but you seem to be good at that, and it won’t hold up to scrutiny but this should give you time to get out of town while they ask their questions and wait for answers if a situation arises, with the city or the Templars. Just try to be reasonable and not get me beheaded. (I jest, but am also very serious; If I’m going to become a fugitive or participate in some horrible crime, I would like to know about it first.)_

_Take care of yourself, please._

_**Ell** _

Chuckling at her letter which managed to be both short and rambling, he pulled the other page out of the envelope. Unfolding it, he skimmed the document and he felt a grin split across his face. She had drafted a formal statement that Anders was in fact not an apostate, and was in Kirkwall conducting “Warden experiments of utmost secrecy” which she justified as within her governance as Ferelden Warden-Commander because they involved Ferelden refugees. The document also contained a long paragraph practically raging at the Templars who had not even disturbed him yet, stating that any interference with his project or attempt to apprehend or harm him or anyone he declared to be his charge would be faced with swift and strong retribution. Signed with her full name, (technically former as she had told him before) rank, and title, and sealed with the official Warden insignia, he marveled at the lengths she was willing to go to in order to help him. Clearly even after all of his bullshit, she was still a tried and true friend.

“I will not indulge her liar’s nature,” Justice spoke savagely in his head. “Burn her false document before you are tempted to use it. No one who cares nothing for the greater plight is of use to us in our cause.” When he felt Anders’ resistance, the spirit relented for the time, but later the mage found that the document was gone and he had another gap in his memory.

**Author's Note:**

> TBH my understanding of why Anders left the wardens (beyond the vague things he says in DAII) comes entirely from the wiki so...  
> Also I wrote this after playing DAII when I was still bubbling with disappointment and distrust toward Justice, who I didn't interact with pretty much at all beyond his recruitment in Awakening, so I apologize to any Justice fans(???) that take issue with his characterization here.


End file.
